Boob Tube BooBoos

HOST: What is your home province known for—what’s unusual about it? Guest: Unlike Manila, its old churches, beautiful natural wonders and slow way of life make it one of the most rusty provinces in the country!

(Ay, kinalawang ang probinsya niya!)

* * *

Host: What do you remember most about the ’50s and the ’60s? Guest: The food! It was simple but filling and delicious—and quick, also. Especially, the fast Chinese food served at—what was that place?—Mamang Look?

(No, Ma Mon Luk!)

* * *

Host: We know that your family is hard-up, so we asked one of our sponsors to give you a four-year college scholarship! Guest: Naku, salamat po! Host: Isn’t that great? Hindi mo na kailangang maghanap ng trabaho, kasi magiging college graduate ka na!

(Ano daw?!)

* * * Host: Some people say the masa has a hard time relating to you because you look rich.

Guest: Oh, no, I’m not! I need this job, so I want to make it in show

biz. I was not born with a spoon in my mouth!

(—Not even a wooden one?)

* * *

Host: Is this a difficult dish to prepare? Will it take long? Guest chef: No, we can do it fast—it takes but all 30 minutes only to roast!

(That fast, huh?)

* * *

Host: How can the Philippines compete better in the call center boom? Guest: Like in our company, we need more English improbement.

(Look who’s talking...)

* * *

Host: What was your reaction when you heard that your relative had succeeded in his mission?

Guest: We feeled very happy and proud!

(Ay, we feeled!)

Host: When will your new organization have its first meeting? Guest: We will meet May 16 of this month.

(Kulit!)

* * *

Host: Do you have a sideline? What is it? Guest: I’m a dance tractor!

(Dance tractor?—Oh, dance instructor!)

* * *

Host: Do you think your company will achieve your goal for 2006? Guest: Definitely, if we work hard, we will go high on the heels of the traditional industry leader in our field.

(—Wearing high heels?!)

* * *

Host: What is your role in your new movie? Guest: I play a former prostitoot.

(Ay, prostitoot!)

* * * Host: What is your father’s position in your company? Is he already retired?

Guest: No, he’s still the presently incumbent president.

(Presently na, incumbent pa!)

Host: What are your plans for the future?

Guest: I don’t plan. I just do whatever it comes my way!

(Quote, unquote!)

* * *

Host: Tell us about your next project.

Guest: We’re publishing a coffee book table!

(—You mean, a coffee-table book!)

* * *

Host: Is your mother still working as a teacher? Guest: No, she’s already retied. (—Untie her, quick!)

ADD ON

‘Luneta’

THE 27 participants in Gantimpala Theater Foundation’s annual musical-theater workshop under Roeder Camañag will perform in “Luneta, A Musical Revue,” on May 27, 6 p.m., at Rizal Park’s open-air auditorium. Call 5280607.